Motherhood…this has got to be one of the most rewarding, confusing, inspiring, exhausting and fulfilling roles I have ever played. I knew as a kid that I wanted to be a Mom…no question at all. I figured I’d have 10 kids since my parents had only been practicing by having eight :0).

We had two!   I’ll speak for myself here and express what it has been like, so far, to be a Mom…the bear type…never dull…often exciting…and quite protective…while being filled beyond the brim with love. I had no clue how much love a human being could feel for another until I met them…Yowza!

I thought that it would be an intense and exhilarating experience, kind of like labour (Eeek)…I had no clue that it was going to be, and continues to be, THE BEST LOVE AFFAIR EVER!

 The snot, the tears, the hugs, the bumps and bruises…the conversations, the vacations, the homework, the different phases…the holding tight, the letting go, the hopes and dreams and aspirations…all, and more, wrapped into this package called ‘Motherhood’

I have joked, for 25 years, that I have yet to find the ‘washing instructions’, attached to the necks of our children, on how to be a ‘good’ parent. To this day it remains a mystery as to whether or not I have ‘guessed right’ or made ‘profound mistakes.’ I’m going to put my money on both…because I’m going to hedge my bets that in some ways I have made headway and in other ways…Well…let’s just say I’m a work in progress.

One thing is for certain…I LOVE OUR CHILDREN…Period! And the rest is gravy…

Well, sort of…

EXPECTATIONS…it’s like a four-letter swear word that comes back to bite me in the posterior end on a regular basis. I ‘assumed’ (another swear word) that two kids coming from the same ‘gene pool’ would be similar in needs/wants and personalities. Nope…not even close. They don’t even look alike! And thank God for that because as they grew up, with their unique wants/needs, it provided me with a wealth of opportunities to get to know myself, as a Mom. This in and of itself is a full time job, which has kept me dancing on my toes.

Dear Bet: “Expectations are the ticket to hell…” so drop the expectations and meet your children where they are now…in this moment…fresh and new!

COMPENSATION…I’ve come to realize, and eventually appreciate…that in an attempt to meet the needs of each child completely and fully, that this has really brought up my childhood stuff. I am convinced that most, if not every parent wants to improve upon the lives of their children by protecting them from the pains of their own youth. So, what do we do? We swing the pendulum away from our own extreme experiences compensating and guessing what they may need. With fingers and toes crossed I wanted the arc to settle somewhere balanced in the middle…nope…not even close!

Dear Bet: My needs have NOTHING to do with their needs…not a gosh-darn thing! Who knew??? Apparently our children did!

ASPIRATIONS…I want the best for them…I want them to thrive and be happy; to be healthy and passionate about life. So I have endlessly explored what that might mean in order to support and guide them along this convoluted and yet mysterious slope. We talk and we talk and we talk…with the intent to ‘discover’ the magical and inspirational nugget of truth that will guarantee them a life enriched with purpose and meaning.

Dear Bet: People and circumstances are in constant flux so what they may want one day may be the opposite from what they want tomorrow…and that’s ‘assuming’ (yup, there’s that swear word again) they even think they may know what they guess they might want for today or tomorrow (dizzy yet?). So stay flexible and in flow with them ok?!

WHAT REALLY MATTERS… Bottom line here folks…

Life is a gift,

Life can feel brutal,

Life is made up of so many mysteries of beauty,

Life will teach us when we’re open to the lessons,

Life is meant to be experienced,

Life is a shared adventure,

Life is Love at its essence.

Love is Life.

Dear Jorin and Connor…

Thank you for being my sons.

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for your sense of humour.

Thank you for being my teachers.

Thank you for our shared love.

Thank you!

Dear Bet…

Thank you for taking the risk of being a Mom.

Thank you for loving so deeply.

Thank you for giving it your all.

Thank you for your sense of humour.

Thank you for not assuming and letting go of all expectations.

Thank you!